{"id":97112,"date":"2023-08-29T10:28:43","date_gmt":"2023-08-29T17:28:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.betterworks.com\/?p=97112"},"modified":"2023-12-17T16:06:38","modified_gmt":"2023-12-18T00:06:38","slug":"june-bower-we-do-not-give-by-talking-we-give-by-listening","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.betterworks.com\/magazine\/june-bower-we-do-not-give-by-talking-we-give-by-listening\/","title":{"rendered":"June Bower: \u2018We Do Not Give By Talking  We Give By Listening.\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-ht-block-toc is-style-contrasted htoc htoc--position-wide toc-list-style-plain\" data-htoc-state=\"closed\"><span class=\"htoc__title\"><span class=\"ht_toc_title\">Table of Contents<\/span><span class=\"htoc__toggle\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\"><g fill=\"#444\"><path d=\"M15 7H1c-.6 0-1 .4-1 1s.4 1 1 1h14c.6 0 1-.4 1-1s-.4-1-1-1z\"><\/path><path d=\"M15 1H1c-.6 0-1 .4-1 1s.4 1 1 1h14c.6 0 1-.4 1-1s-.4-1-1-1zM15 13H1c-.6 0-1 .4-1 1s.4 1 1 1h14c.6 0 1-.4 1-1s-.4-1-1-1z\"><\/path><\/g><\/svg><\/span><\/span><div class=\"htoc__itemswrap\"><ul class=\"ht_toc_list\"><li class=\"\"><a href=\"#h-you-can-t-neglect-people-s-feelings\">You can\u2019t neglect people\u2019s feelings&nbsp;<\/a><\/li><li class=\"\"><a href=\"#h-tailor-feedback-delivery-to-individual-needs\">Tailor feedback delivery to individual needs<\/a><\/li><li class=\"\"><a href=\"#htoc-giving-and-receiving-feedback-is-a-skill\">Giving and receiving feedback is a skill<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/june-bower-3091a\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">June Bower<\/a> knows a lot about the power of talking. After all, she\u2019s the \u201ctalker in chief\u201d at <a href=\"https:\/\/talkshopworkshops.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">TalkShop Workshops<\/a>, where she helps corporate clients learn to communicate effectively in remote and hybrid work environments.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But when it comes to feedback, Bower says, listening is always more powerful than talking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Managers today are under more pressure than ever to help their reports grow and thrive so they can perform at their best. But that\u2019s not easy, especially when offering performance feedback. \u201cOne of the hardest things for us all to do is to give to other people,\u201d Bower says. \u201cAnd we do not give by talking. We give by listening.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We spoke with Bower ahead of her upcoming People Fundamentals webinar session, \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterworks.com\/the-feedback-formula-empowering-managers-to-drive-performance\/\">The Feedback Formula: Empowering Managers to Drive Performance<\/a>.\u201d Read on for highlights from the conversation, including Bower\u2019s insights into fostering better feedback through listening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote\"><blockquote><p><em>&#8220;Giving and getting feedback is one of the most important and powerful things leaders can do to help their company be more successful.&#8221;<\/em><\/p><cite><em><strong>june bower, talkShop<\/strong><\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-you-can-t-neglect-people-s-feelings\">You can\u2019t neglect people\u2019s feelings&nbsp;<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Only when <a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterworks.com\/magazine\/david-horsager-performance-honest-conversations-trust\/\">a foundation of trust<\/a> is present can managers and their reports communicate their feelings effectively. That may seem frivolous, Bower says, but feelings are a cornerstone of the employee experience, and they influence business outcomes.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYour feelings drive so much of your work experience, and they certainly are the basis of how you trust people,\u201d she says. \u201cIt&#8217;s not one particular thing they say: it&#8217;s many things they&#8217;ve said and how it makes you feel.\u201d If team members don\u2019t trust their managers, they\u2019re far less likely to accept or act on any feedback they receive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s why leaning into feelings is a crucial element of the feedback formula. \u201cWhen we try to make \u2018feeling\u2019 something that we want to set aside, it doesn&#8217;t work very well,\u201d Bower says. \u201cIf we address it head-on, it can really help build a trusting relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Leadership development guru <a href=\"https:\/\/simonsinek.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Simon Sinek<\/a> and his team, for example, meet once a week to talk about things that have nothing to do with work, Bower says. \u201cPeople may say, \u2018That&#8217;s not productive,\u2019 but it is productive because the more you trust people, the more you can get work done,\u201d she continues. \u201cThe more you can share openly and honestly, the more influence you have. It&#8217;s what I call an investment in being able to successfully get your job done.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When managers invest in building positive relationships with their reports, they set the stage for better listening \u2014 and empower <a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterworks.com\/the-employees-ultimate-field-guide-to-giving-and-receiving-feedback\/\">more effective feedback<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote\"><blockquote><p><em>&#8220;Your feelings drive much of your work experience, and they certainly are the basis of how you trust people.&#8221;<\/em><\/p><cite><em><strong>June Bower, talkshop<\/strong><\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-tailor-feedback-delivery-to-individual-needs\">Tailor feedback delivery to individual needs<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>To deliver feedback that matters to employees, managers have to frame it in a way that promotes the good of the other person. \u201cPut your employee first and say, \u2018The reason I&#8217;m giving this feedback isn&#8217;t so I can feel better. It&#8217;s so I can truly <a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterworks.com\/magazine\/josh-bersin-every-single-person-in-your-company-wants-to-do-more\/\">help this person to achieve more<\/a>,\u2019\u201d Bower says. \u201cIf you have that frame of mind, not only will you do a better job coaching, but you will probably talk to that person sooner than you would have otherwise.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just calling out behaviors or actions that aren\u2019t aligned with the employee\u2019s goals isn\u2019t a helpful approach to providing performance feedback. \u201cYou want to have influence in a way that someone&#8217;s willing to accept,\u201d Bower continues. If a manager knows that one of their team members wants to become a manager, for example, they might point out opportunities where the team member can exercise their social skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That means going deeper than simply addressing surface-level behaviors. Managers need to be able to raise performance concerns in the context of the employee\u2019s goals. As a manager, Bower says, \u201cI need that person to buy in, to start with what they want to see happen. And then we&#8217;re going to talk about the behavior change relative to what they want.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Good feedback has to stay focused on the person receiving it, and that means managers need to be prepared to have very specific, goal-oriented conversations with each team member. \u201cIf you just go in there and wing it, you&#8217;re not going to get the change you want,\u201d Bower says. \u201cBut if you think about it in advance and you really, thoroughly understand the person you&#8217;re talking to, you&#8217;ll be more successful.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"lazyblock-recommended-content-Z1fG2Ur align  wp-block-lazyblock-recommended-content\"><div class=\"recommended-read-notice\">Recommended content<\/div> \n        <div class=\"recommended-read-box\">\n            <div class=\"recommended-read-image\" style=\"display:inherit;\">\n                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.betterworks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/ManagersFieldGuide-Thumbnail-800x8002-1.png\" alt=\"\">\n            <\/div>          \n            <div class=\"recommended-read-text\">\n              <div class=\"\" style=\"margin-top:px;font-size:12px;\"><h2><a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterworks.com\/the-managers-ultimate-guide-to-great-conversations\/\">The Manager&#8217;s Ultimate Guide to Great Conversations<\/a><\/h2><\/div>\n                \n            <\/div>\n        <\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"htoc-giving-and-receiving-feedback-is-a-skill\">Giving and receiving feedback is a skill<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Continuous feedback from managers gives employees a step up on their journey to achieving performance and professional goals. \u201cGiving and getting feedback is one of the most important and powerful things leaders can do to help their company be more successful,\u201d Bower says.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But despite feedback\u2019s impact on business outcomes, most organizations haven\u2019t developed programs for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterworks.com\/magazine\/how-to-improve-manager-effectiveness-and-help-employees-thrive\/\">training managers to provide effective feedback<\/a>. \u201cThis is where HR can truly be trainers of people in organizations,\u201d Bower says. \u201cHR has the opportunity to build the curriculum, to bring third parties in, to do a lot around helping people build their skills and their confidence to understand the best ways to give feedback.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"lazyblock-recommended-content-20R0Cc align  wp-block-lazyblock-recommended-content\"><div class=\"recommended-read-notice\"><\/div> \n        <div class=\"recommended-read-box\">\n            <div class=\"recommended-read-image\" style=\"display:inherit;\">\n                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.betterworks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/HRsUltimateGuide-Thumb-800x800-1-2.png\" alt=\"\">\n            <\/div>          \n            <div class=\"recommended-read-text\">\n              <div class=\"\" style=\"margin-top:px;font-size:12px;\"><h2><a href=\"http:\/\/HR's Ultimate Guide to Fostering Great Manager-Employee Relationships\" data-wplink-url-error=\"true\">HR&#8217;s Ultimate Guide to Fostering Great Manager-Employee Relationships<\/a><\/h2><\/div>\n                \n            <\/div>\n        <\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The good news is that, although managers have traditionally earned their roles because they were high-performers, they can learn and practice skills related to people leadership \u2014 such as giving and receiving feedback. \u201cCoaches are not necessarily great just because they&#8217;re great. They&#8217;ve also learned. They&#8217;ve built the skills,\u201d Bower says. \u201cAnd so coaches getting that feedback, hearing third parties give them ideas \u2014 these are all things that will have a huge impact and that HR can organize and make happen.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That practice extends to receiving feedback, too. A strong feedback model puts managers in the position to not just give feedback to their teams, but also to practice receiving \u200cand applying feedback from <em>their<\/em> managers, peers, and direct reports. \u201cMy suggestion is just listen, take it in, and take it away with you,\u201d Bower says. The more experience managers get on both ends of the feedback loop, the easier it will be for them to deliver effective feedback that drives business results.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Want to learn more? Register to attend \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterworks.com\/the-feedback-formula-empowering-managers-to-drive-performance\/\">The Feedback Formula: Empowering Managers to Drive Performance<\/a>.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"lazyblock-post-resource-cta-tPPb2 align  wp-block-lazyblock-post-resource-cta\"><div class=\"custom-post-resource-box\" style=\"background:url('https:\/\/www.betterworks.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/09-28-23-PF-JuneBower-Horizontal-PostWebinar.jpg;') no-repeat center;background-color:;box-shadow: 0px 0px 18px -5px ;background-color:\">\n  <div class=\"custom-box-heading\" style=\"max-width:50%;\"><p style=\"color:#ffffff;font-size:30px\">The Feedback Formula: Empowering Managers to Drive Performance<\/p><\/div>\n  <div class=\"custom-box-cta\" style=\"\"><a class=\"et_pb_button\" href=\"https:\/\/www.betterworks.com\/the-feedback-formula-empowering-managers-to-drive-performance\/\" style=\"color:#008AAB;background-color:#ffffff;\">Register now<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Want to enhance employee performance in your organization? Check out June Bower\u2019s insights into training managers to deliver great feedback.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":133,"featured_media":97130,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[237,3520],"tags":[],"featured_location":[],"industry":[],"class_list":["post-97112","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-employee-experience","category-manager-enablement"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v18.1 (Yoast SEO v23.9) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>June Bower Shares What Great Feedback Really Looks Like - Betterworks<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Want to enhance employee performance in your organization? 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